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Visual White Noise Theater: Welcome to “The Beast Pageant” 2010

Watching ” The Beast Pageant” I was confused, not because of the crazy imagery or semi non-linear story line, I was confused because this is that type of “tightrope walk” movie, on one side of the thin rope is pretentious, up its ass horse shit and on the other side is spell binding brilliance, this movie didn’t fall onto either side and made it across alright. “The Beast Pageant” was directed by Albert Birney and John Moses and its a fucking trip to be sure.

There is two parts to this film, and I know what “The Beast Pageant” is going for in the first part, Abraham, played by co director/writer John Moses, lives in a German Expressionist style apartment with various machines hooked throughout his apartment, one calls him and sings to him when he picks up the phone and one is a TV apparatus that has a bearded man in it that shows Abraham weird commercials and asks him to talk through the speaker horn if he wants the item advertised in the commercial, Abraham goes to a dead end job in a factory where he pushes slots that spit out synthetic fish. The whole first part smacks heavily of “Eraserhead”, the whole movie is filmed in black and white and has a dream like logic to it. The visuals in this movie are stunning, weird and unusual. The whole “Eraserhead” thing also comes from the dirty, industrial background. Abraham starts to grow a tentacle out of his rib and goes to a doctor to have it removed, the removal isn’t successful. The first part of the film is so blatant in its message, normally when somebody tries to hit me directly on the head with something it pisses me off and turns me off but the hammering is done in an intelligent way, the first part seems to be lampooning consumerism and a 9 to 5 existence. Not to mention how machines will try to give comfort and love but its artificial and plastic.

The second half, Abraham tears out of his house into the countryside, a stark contrast, the tentacle becomes a miniature singing cowboy copy of him complete with acoustic guitar. Among the things he encounters are a small house with a nude couple in it, bush people, water people, dirt people, animal people, a motel in the middle of the forest with a couple that needs a baby sitter and the list goes on and on. The second half seems to say that nature is better than an urban setting and the second half has musical numbers of the indie folk pop type. More weird stuff happens and again I don’t want to spoil too much you’ll have to go watch it yourself.

The movie got its money in part from a Kickstarter campaign and took three years to make. Sure some of this movie made me roll my eyes, some of it is art house pretentious but overall I liked its crazy energy and wasn’t bored. So I say join the “The Beast Pageant”. Albert Birney’s new movie, “Strawberry Mansion”, screened at Fantasia Film Festival, its about a “dream auditor” who gets caught in an old lady’s dream world, hope its as interesting as “The Beast Pageant”.

Become a “Beast” here: https://vimeo.com/groups/awardeo/videos/108922277

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White Noise on Paper: “Norman Pettingill: Backwoods Humorist” because I got nothing…

They don’t make men like Norman Pettingill anymore, hell, you could argue they don’t make men today, period. Pettingill seems like he chews bark like gum and could stomp your modern, smart phone scrolling, skinny, whiny ass into the ground with his hiking boots. They also don’t make humor like this anymore.

I discovered Norman Pettingill from reading Robert Crumb’s “Weirdo” magazine (see my review of “Weirdo” magazine here: https://www.noisepuncher.net/2021/05/19/your-such-a-weirdo-underground-comix-magazine-1981-1993/). Robert Crumb republished some of Pettingill’s art work in his 1980’s underground comix/cartoon magazine, his art jumped out at me, it was ribald, crazy, chaotic, free spirited and had to see more. So I went to go find out if there was a book and sure enough the fine folks at Fantagraphics put one out, “Norman Pettingill: Backwoods Humorist” in 2010 and this being Fantagraphics who won’t do another fucking print run of anything, the book is out of print which is a damn shame because this artist needs more exposure in my opinion.

This a document of a bygone era, when rural America really had its own culture, food and humor, since the urbanization of most of the country and homogenization of culture country wide a lot of this stuff has just disappeared. In “Norman Pettingill: Backwoods Humorist” you’ll see some of that past preserved. Most of Pettingill’s work was collected and preserved by the John Michael Kohler Arts Center, located in the Wisconsin area, keeping alive the independent, DYI folk art that would otherwise be lost. The Arts center helped with this book.

Norman’s grandfather, John A. Pettingill, a farmer and cattle dealer bought the land and started the town Norman was born in on 1896, Iron River, Wisconsin. Norman says he’d been drawing since he was six years old and dropped out of high school in his third year because he wanted to be outside fishing and hunting. John was drafted during World War One and only served in Mississippi for a short period and was discharged when the war ended. Norman lived off the land, his drawing and calligraphy skills. He did calling cards, signs and other jobs until 1946 when he started drawing postcards, printing and selling them from door to door, he’d make a living at it for pretty much the rest of his life. That pretty much sums up this book, you get most of his postcard work as well as his nature paintings. John claims he pretty much didn’t get lessons from anybody and was self taught, even when he wrote letters to people he would illustrate them. His bar, hospital, public beach etc. paintings are something else, a cross between Will Elder and Hieronymus Bosch, silly, stupid, profane, carnival like, ribald etc. When looking at a Norman Pettingill postcard you will always find something new or something you missed. That being said if you can find a copy of “Norman Pettingill: Backwoods Humorist” snap it up, there is copies available on ebay and amazon, it might give your wallet and/or paypal account a diet. Robert Crumb does the introduction, Leslie Umberger, the Senior Curator of Exhibitions and Collections at Kohler Arts Cent does the foreword and Gary Groth does the biography. The front cover and back cover are literally made of wood and the book horizontally is oversized to fully show the art. Highly recommended.

Start your diet here, it is 20 bucks digitally if you want to go that way: https://www.amazon.com/Norman-Pettingill-Backwoods-Gary-Groth/dp/1606993194

And here: https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313&_nkw=Norman+Pettingill&_sacat=0

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On the Bandwagon: The non punk records of SST Records.

When one thinks of SST records they think of classic punk like Black Flag, The Descendents, The Minutemen etc. SST is more known for hardcore punk than anything else and they put out some classic albums by some classic bands. SST was started by Greg Ginn, who founded Black Flag, in Black Flag’s later albums like “Slip It In”, Greg and the crew slipped in heavy chords and dissonant solos and they were accused of “selling out” and “going metal”. Greg got pissed at that and was one guy that didn’t want to stagnant as a writer or player, he said something along the lines of “It shouldn’t be too much as a band to practice your instruments once in awhile”. It would make sense that Greg would sign acts that went into different territory on to his label, this earned the derision of the punk hipsters in the scene. Fuck them, not many people know the non punk acts of SST so without further ado and not in any order here is most (not all) of the non punk acts of SST records.

1.Overkill L.A.

Sounding like fried, burned to death Motorhead, Overkill L.A. started as as a hardcore punk band, in fact, their first E.P. “Hotter Than Hell” was O.K. punk music, however, on their 1985 album “Triumph of the Will” they went for the throat mixing hardcore punk with speed metal, the result wasn’t thrash, it was pure Motorhead worship. I can’t recommend “Triumph of the Will” enough, its a killer album I’ve listened to on repeat. There was a lot of band changes, people getting pissed at each other for stupid comments, dumb drunken behavior and “Yoko” girlfriends. Overkill L.A. had one of their songs put on “Metal Massacre 2” that was a different version than appeared on their studio album and their first singer was more of high pitched hair metal singer who they ditched in favor of the crazy Merrill Ward. At first when Ward quit, Ginn wasn’t even gonna release the album, Felice Lococo talked Greg into it after getting Merrill on board again to do lyrics and vocals. Overkill LA had to change their name when the New Jersey thrash metal act, Overkill, copy righted their name.

2. DC3

Dez Cadena of Black Flag started the band in 1983 and their sound was a far away as possible from Black Flag. Psychedelic Stoner Hard Rock is more like it and its fucking beautiful, along with Dez was Kurt Markham on drums and Kira Roessler on bass until she left for Black Flag, her brother Paul stepped in and played bass and keyboards. This is one band I really dig on and was forerunner of the stoner/doom metal movement that would come in the 1990’s alternative rock explosion. “Your Only Blind As Your Mind Can Be” is a fucking killer album, mushrooms and pot smoke down the hatch!

3. Saint Vitus

Saint Vitus were out and out Sabbath worshipers their sound was dipped in sludgy muck of Osbourne/Iommi/Ward/Butler, started in 1979 they were in the second wave of doom metal along with Pentagram, Candlemass and Trouble, they weren’t into snorting coke off the spandex clad asses of groupies, they were more into drinking cheap beer, smoking good weed and banging hair pie, as a result they were hard to peg in the hair metal go go 1980’s. Greg Ginn was a huge fan and took them along on shows and tours with Black Flag, some punks hated their guts being dumb fucking elitist hipsters, but some warmed up to them, Chandler said “the heavy metal fans at the time hated us, and so did the punk rockers, but the punk rockers grew to appreciate us”. Saint Vitus would be among some of the best retro hard rock bands to come out in the 1980’s. At first the band consisted of Scott Reagers on vocals, Mark Adams on bass, Armando Acosta on drums, and Dave Chandler on guitar, that was on the first two albums self titled and “Hallow’s Victim”, after Reagers quit Scott “Wino” Weinrich from the doom band Obsessed joined in 1986 on the album “Born Too Late” my favorite of the band’s albums and the line up hasn’t changed since. Some people like Reager’s voice better than Weinrich, I like them both.

4. Wurm

Chuck Dukowski who went to play with Black Flag, started Wurm in 1973 and continued the band after Black Flag broke up. Wurm is considered the godfathers of Sludge Metal. Wurm recorded an album in 1977 but the tapes were destroyed after they stiffed the studio on payment. Wurm split apart because that is what good bands do and Chuck joined a band called Panic which had Greg Ginn in it and would change its name to Black Flag, during a Black Flag hiatus Chuck brought Wurm back and recorded a three song E.P. in 1982 “We’re Off/I’m Dead/Time Has Come Today (cover)” they then added Simon Smallwood from the band Dead Hippie as vocalist and recorded the fucking awesome “Feast” and released it in 1985 on SST records. “Feast” is a killer, its blistering, nasty, hard rock that smashes your face in. Greg Ginn and company had good musical tastes.

5. SWA

This is one band a lot of people like to shit on in the SST Records roster and I don’t see why, they are a hard band to pin down, are they punk? Are they hard rock? Are they pop rock? Jazz rock? Experimental? Listening to a SWA song is like saying “WTF?” Those are the bands I like. The name was picked by alphabets to numbers and rolling dice, SWA came up, again Chuck Dukowski came up with the concept of the band and when Wurm fell apart Chuck recruited a teenage drummer who hung out around SST records, Greg Cameron, Ted Falconi of the band Flipper joined on guitar, but that version of the band was short lived. The group was soon joined by Merrill Ward of the aforementioned band Overkill LA on vocals, Richard Ford of Frantic Technoids on guitar, and Greg Cameron’s friend Ray Cooper on guitar in 1985, the band recorded their first album “Your Future If You Have One” which was produced by Greg Ginn. The band continued to change line ups, this is a strange band no doubt, I’d recommend “Evolution” which collects all their recordings from 1985-1987. Check this band out.

6. Zoogz Rift

A one man killing machine and amateur professional wrestler, Zoogz Rift was one of a kind and the type of guy I like, he didn’t give two fucks about what people thought about him or his music. Whatever crazy idea he had he ran with it, this man was genre defying and didn’t like to be tied down. SST Records re released his older albums and newer material because nobody else would. Zoogz has said he took inspiration from many sources like Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, Salvador Dali and Ayn Rand (!). Wow so you know what your headed for if you dip your ears in this audio acid, as for Zoogz fray into professional wrestling, Zoogz booked the Universal Wrestling Federation in 1993, he left in 1994 but returned in 1995 to become Vice President of the UWF along with  founder Herb Abrams after Abrams died in 1996. Zoogz did a online show commenting on professional wrestling called “Puke-A-Mania”, his wrestling career was ended when Lex Luger torture racked him and injured him. Zoogz passed away in 2011 from complications of diabetes. I recommend the awesome and weird “Ipecac”.

7. Tar Babies

Another SST Records fray into psychedelic rock, Tar Babies was a weird combo of jazz, psychedelic and avant garde craziness, Acid Punk if you will. The band formed in 1982, the original line up was Jeremy Davies on vocals, Bucky Pope on guitars, Dan Bitney on drums and Robin Davies on bass, the guys came from different bands with different sounds and they came together to create this audio mutant. Their first two albums “Face the Music” and “Respect Your Nightmares” were released on their own label Bone Air Music, but their next album “Fried Milk” was put out by SST Records. In my opinion, “Fried Milk” is their best album acid freaked, experimental rock to the hilt done right. Their later albums would have a more funk sound, I enjoy all of their albums. A band that decided to go out on the limb of Weird Tree as far as they could go.

8. Lawndale

Nothing beats a reverb soaked Surf instrumental after listening to bad acid trip, avant garde black or death metal, a cool blue tropical drink of a Surf instrumental gets rid of that weird after taste. Lawndale toasts that drink to those masters of yesteryear like Dick Dale and Link Wray. There is no dumb vocals that get in the way of the music, ride the wave, baby, ride the wave. When SST had retro acts like Saint Vitus, DC3, Tar Babies and Lawndale they did it right. A band from, where else, Lawndale, CA and oddly enough SST Records mailing address but not their physical address, the band was started in 1984 by Rick Waddell aka Rick Lawndale on guitar and Jack Skelley on bass, on second guitar was Steve Housden and on drums was Dave Childs naming themselves after the city they were from. Greg Ginn signed them and they released the fucking awesome “Beyond Barbecue” and the still awesome “Sasquatch Rock” as well as numerous compilations.  They split in 1987 but Rick revived the band in 1997 under the Rick Lawndale Band. Search these guys out and ride the wave! LA Weekly described them as “The Ventures meet Led Zeppelin in Don Knott’s living room”. Pretty apt description.

9. October Faction

While October Faction was a band rooted in punk, October Faction’s tree branched and strengthened in avant garde jazz and psychotic hard rock. The members were SST Records regulars Chuck Dukowski on bass, Greg Cameron on drums, Greg Ginn on guitar, Joe Baiza from the punk band Saccharine Trust on second guitar and Tom Troccoli from Troccoli’s Dog on vocals and they were mainly a instrumental jam band. Their first album is a live recording from 1985 that is self titled and this is my favorite of their two albums, this is where the experimentalism rears its ugly, mutated head. The back and forth jamming of the players in created something that partakes of jazz, punk and hard rock with equal fever. Their second album “Second Factionalization” is a studio recording, still good but not as insane or dangerous as their first live recording.

So there you have it! Unlike a lot of punk labels, SST Records wasn’t afraid to go into different musical territory, even if it meant dying of thirst and hunger. I am sure I am leaving off bands, SST Records had two different labels under its umbrella, Cruz Records and Issues Records which released a spoken word album by NBA Celtic legend Bill Walton with Ray Manzarek of the Doors doing background music. In the late 1980’s Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr. soured on the financial practices of SST and went elsewhere. Sub Pop started to gain more prominence and became the underground label in the 1990’s. SST went into hibernation when noise/sound collage act Negativland sued SST after Negativland’s kerfuffle with U2 over sampling, SST agreed to hand over masters to Negativland in exchange for completing a planned live album along with keeping the original three albums for a short period. In the 1990’s Ginn only kept the catalog of the punk classics, some bands sued to get their rights back. In 2002 Ginn signed a deal with Koch records and digital music distributor, The Orchard, released a bunch of SST Record acts on I tunes and e music in 2006.

While SST Records is known for classic punk, people forget their rich back catalog of non punk acts, most of which was the womb of what would become the alternative rock/metal movement. The Stoner/Doom/Garage Rock/Metal scene owes a debt they can never repay to SST Records.

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White Noise on Paper: Damn “Commies From Mars”! (1973-1987)

The title of this underground comix series sounds like the title to a bad b movie from the 1950’s-1960’s at the height of the red scare and I think that is the purpose. This series pretty much satirizes the “Red Scare” and science fiction comics and movies in general, kind of like what the early 1960’s card series “Mars Attacks” did. This was published by Last Gasp, first issue came out in 1973.

It was edited by Tim Boxell who would, oddly enough, direct the serialized puppet biker, soap opera segments of “Winter Steele” for the awesome animation anthology show, “Liquid Television”, he was also a technical advisor on the Eddie Murphy’s oriental occult movie “Golden Child” among other jobs in Hollywood. The series, a lot like Last Gasp’s other series, would span years and publish sporadically, in “Commies From Mars” case, after its first issue there would be a six year hiatus before the next one.

Many authors and artists would come aboard, most from the underground comix world, people like Greg Irons, Peter Kuper, Spain, S. Clay Wilson and Kenneth Huey which gave the series variety and kept interesting. Different strips explored different themes, some were straight up satire, some action, eroticism (especially between humans and aliens), science fiction, propaganda, societal control and social mores while not taking itself seriously.

In those fourteen years six issues came out, I first stumbled across this series while reading old “Heavy Metal Magazines”, the ads in the back were from Last Gasp Publishing’s underground comix satire line up which featured “Cocaine Comix”, “Young Lust” and “Commies from Mars”, when I read that title I busted up laughing, it brought to mind those corny and cheesy 1950’s B monster movies I used to watch while stoned on a Saturday night on the local public access station. I forgot about the title until I started going through my “Heavy Metal Magazines”, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to dig into my wallet to buy the series issue by issue. Luckily, Last Gasp released all six issues in one beautiful book.

“Commies from Mars The Red Planet The Collected Works” will set you right. Jerry Garcia from a band I fucking hate, The Grateful Dead, does the foreword and Tim Boxell gives warning about the “Martian Extermination Legion” knocking on your door at 2AM. There was very scant info on this series and its publishing, nonetheless the mystery adds to the mystique of this series. This comes highly recommended from me, visual white noise every noise addict should search out and inject in their veins. THE MARTIANS ARE COMING! THE MARTIANS ARE CUUUUMMMMINGGGGG!!!!

To get invaded, do it fast because the spots on the saucer are being filled up: https://www.amazon.com/Commies-Mars-Planet-Collected-Works/dp/0867193433

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White Noise on Paper: In “Young Lust” Comix (1970-1993)

Satire, if done right, can cut like a sharpened razor, but if done wrong all it will do is tickle you annoyingly. “Young Lust” does it right! Right in your pants! Cream!

“Young Lust” was started by co editors Jay Kinney, and Bill Griffith. Jay was a prolific underground cartoonist and promoter of the satirical religion “The Church of the Sub Genius”, he wrote an article on their convention that took place in Dallas for Robert Crumb’s “Weirdo” (you can find my review of the whole run here: 

https://www.noisepuncher.net/2021/05/19/your-such-a-weirdo-underground-comix-magazine-1981-1993/) underground comix anthology of the 1980’s-early 1990’s and he was also editor of “Gnosis” magazine. Bill Griffith, was also a prolific underground cartoonist and created the “Zippy the Pinhead” strip that was syndicated in mainstream newspapers. The comic was started in 1970 and published sporadically until the last issue in 1993. They came up with the idea of mocking the “Romance Comics” of the 1950’s-1960’s. In the foreword to “The Young Lust Reader” which contains the first three issues, Jay says that the plots of the “Romance Comics” were formulaic in most issues: “See, the basic romance plot involves a helpless, passive girl in love with some idiot, but then a suave man of the world comes along and wins her heart. But finally he proves to be the devil incarnate and in the end she goes back to the idiot, who’s safe and will make a good husband. In between there’s a lot of tears and some kissing but thats about the gist of it.” So Jay and Bill turned that on its head, 1960’s counter culture style and in Jay’s words “Turn that vapid chauvinistic drivel inside-out and upside down”. The first issue featured only Bill and Jay with a one pager by Art Spiegelman. At first the comic was rejected by future publishers of subsequent issues Last Gasp Comix, Print Mint and Rip Off Press, however, Bill and Jay got a deal with John Bagley’s “Company and Sons” after selling 10,000 copies other bigger, underground publishers took notice.

The second issue was picked up by Print Mint, Bill became the primary editor while Jay helped out and drew strips, they were joined by Justin Green of “Binky Brown” fame, Roger Brand, Landon Chesney and Jim Osborne, all underground cartoonists.

Issue three was put out by Last Gasp and it was in four color, however, the third issue in my reader is in black and white along with the previously mentioned cartoonists, Spain came aboard, and Ned Sontagg. The first three issues stick pretty much to the formula of mocking the old, corny Romance comics. That is the gist of it and while the first three are good I am not gonna go into detail too much on the first three, because the subsequent issues are more interesting.

There was no follow up collections or omnibuses of “Young Lust” which is a damn shame so I started buying the issues separate. “Young Lust” issue four is in four colors, this time Print Mint stepped in as publisher, however, with this issue it goes deep into a different territory while there is still satire this is when, in my opinion, “Young Lust” comes into its own, it dives ball deep into absurdity, insanity and hilarity and this is the first time I have seen a Spain comic in color with his “What It Was Really Like in the 1950’s: Raw Meat”, its weird because almost every Spain comic I have come across is in black and white because most underground comics are done that way, in “Raw Meat” Spain and his leather clad JD gang get to gang bang a chick and then have to run when the fuzz show up, You get a tale of “Young Lust” from 1960 featuring a young Jay in “5th Grade Confidential”, Justin Green leads you on the surrealist and insane escapades of Dog Boy with his phallic nose and his cheating Geisha girlfriend in “A Dog Boy and his Geisha”, Kim Deitch has an ex war vet choking simian neck after catching a spider monkey fucking his German wife in “Simian Sin”, Art Spiegelman contributes a comic that wouldn’t be out of place in his future high art comic compilation “RAW” in “Little Signs of Passion”, Bill Griffith and his wife Diane Nommin have both of their continuing characters Didi and Funston come together and than “apart” literally in “Claude n’ Didi”, Jay and Ned Sonntag go into the future with a character that looks oddly like “Ziggy Stardust” era David Bowie, where all men and women are homosexuals and rock stars,  Bill Griffith goes in for sloppy seconds with a peeping Tom astronomer who uses his telescope to watch people have sex in “Scenic News From the Griffith Observatory” and Robert Crumb gets into the action with yet another tale of sexual self loathing in “Red Hot Romances of Shlub Mugubb”.

With issue five, Last Gasp publishing took up the publishing task, the cover is a erotic satire of Maoist propaganda, that is the first comic by Jay Kinney who does a sexual take down of the Maoist revolution in “Red Guard”, Bill Griffith has his recurring character, Funston fuck while thinking of Twinkies in “Too Much Fun”, Paul Mavrides studies mutant sex habits in “Mutant Smut”, Spain dives back into the 1950’s with “fag bashing” in “Dessert”, Griffith “strips” with Dr. Marvin Lipschitz in “Dr. Marvin”, Jay Kinney and Sonntag double team into a future where there is commies running the country on the west coast and the Devil himself running the east coast in “Menthol Sirens”, Jay “cums” back and with a chihuahua in a tea cup in “Tea Cup” and Guy Colwell has dope heads of all races and genders sucking and fucking each other in “They Can’t See Us Here”.

Issue six is magazine sized and is titled “The Taboo Issue” and in this one you get the regulars and more “new cummers” which make the issue varied and interesting. Bill Griffith goes wild with his recurring character Funston fucking everything in sight including the sheep he is counting to fall asleep in “Plug Un-plug”, Spain goes “Robert Crumb” and annihilates himself for the rat he is towards women in “My True Story”, Micheal McMillian goes into outer space with a geek-giant alien sex romp in “Harold Wiseguy in Abduction Deduction”, Phoebe Gloeckner has Mary the Minor run off to do drugs and turn tricks while her single mother searches her out in “Mary the Minor”, Gary Panter adapts a novel by Tom DeHaven about a nightmare post apocalyptic world where people get off on watching A Bomb blasted mutant survivors have sex with weird masks, “Cafe Flesh” style, in “Freaks Amour”, Diane Noomin has her recurring character the mature Didi screw the delivery boy in “Stupid Cupid with Didi Glitz”, Melinda Gebbie has a three way with the three sisters who don’t need boys in the “Three Swans”, Kim Deitch has his female protagonist go to her psychiatrist about her underwater sex fantasies about the politicians Ted Kennedy and John Anderson in “Mind Games”, Paul Mavrides and Jay Kinney, two Sub Genius cult members, put their pipe smoking messiah J.R. “Bob” Dobbs smack in the middle of international and intergalactic intrigue in “Underneath the Covers”, and Robert Shwartz gets artsy fartsy with his meditation on opera and sex on the back page.  Most of these artists are the cream of the crop of the underground, most from the San Francisco scene, most of them worked for different publications and magazines, most of the people that worked in “Young Lust” also worked on Robert Crumb’s “Weirdo”.

 

 

Issue seven goes back to a regular sized comic book and while the first six were released between 1970 to 1980, issue seven appears ten years later in 1990, it kind of reminds me of the last issue of “Weirdo” that just appeared in the early 1990’s when the Crumb family had moved to France. I figure Ron Turner, publisher and owner of “Last Gasp” wanted to bank on the surge of independent comics and zines that were really starting to proliferate in the 1990’s, Jay Kinney and Paul Mavrides collaborate yet again to document a love story with North Korean dictator Kim Il Sung (deceased father of the current Kim) and 1950’s fetish pin up model Betty Page who whips Kim into shape and takes over as dominatrix queen of North Korea in “Guilt Edged Bonds”, Daniel Clowes illustrates the down and dirty folk song “Frankie and Johnnie”, Bill Griffith brings his recurring character Funston back trying to rekindle an old flame who is now married to a skinflint televangelist in “Hot Tears for Tamara”, a Clare Biggs reprint from 1926 (and I am really surprised this comic strip got published back then, a husband trying to hide his dirty book from his wife. Things never change HA! HA! HA!) in “That Guiltiest Feeling”, Micheal McMillian has two couples get kinky in the high desert with “High Desert Ecotage”, Diane Noomin has Didi put out an ad for “love” in “I Had to Advertise for Love”, Spain and Jay Kinney have a pervert who thinks he is in ancient times visiting a temple prostitute but instead finds himself getting kicked out of a strip club in “Slave of Ishtar” Susie Bright gets nasty in her love column, “Ask Susie Hexpert”, Phoebe Gloeckner illustrates the sexual generation gap in former communist Eastern Europe with “An Evening in Prague”, Harry S. Robins gets shit on by hot women and philosophizes about it in “Grace”, Justin Green returns with his phallic nosed Dog-Boy who fetishizes food in “Eat and Tell”, Lee Binswanger gets awkward when the younger sister has to entertain the date of her bigger sister while the bigger sister gets ready in “Entertainment Tonight”, Spain tears in to misogyny in “The Sexist: He Lived By Lust Alone” and Jennifer Camper has lesbian revenge on a male lover in “A Teen Guide to Dating”. 

The final issue, issue eight, is magazine sized and came out three years later in 1993, by that time “Young Lust” shot its final load and collapsed exhausted with a well deserved post coital cigarette. Jay Kinney and Ned Sonntag get dick deep into piercing fetish and Hindu mythology in “Pierce the Veil”, Bill Griffith has his famous, syndicated character “Zippy the Pinhead”, himself and his recurring character Funston getting X Rated in a weird orgy in “Fleshed Out”, Charles Burns does one on the multiple personalities of the boyfriend of a girl who doesn’t recognize him from day to day in “Love Diary”, Justin Green has Dog-Boy run out on his imperfect wife to Reno to screw a prostitute in “Reno Romp”, T. Laban has a professor researching S and M, tattoo, and extreme piercing in “Modern Primitive”, Diane Noomin has Didi screwing a lounge lizard on a miniature golf course on “Lava My Life”, Spain has Big Bitch fuck up some terrorists naked in “Big Bitch”, Harry S. Robins waxes philosophical again about being constantly rejected in “Road of Knives”, Robert Triptow has 1940’s tale of noir, sex and murder in “Dick Hymen in Hard Boiled Romance”, Angela Bocage has a modern day Siren fucking both men and women in “Siren”, Jay Kinney talks about a Muse he has had throughout his life in “My Muse Left Me and All I Got Was This Stupid Comic Strip!”, Carol Lay turns an old fraternity tradition into a drunken sex orgy in “Panty Raid”, John Bailiff jerks off with out consequences in “My Big Day”, and Sub Genius Devivalist Reverend Nenslo says sex is dumb in his ad “Sex is Dumb” and Lloyd Dangle dumps heavy satire on the old 1-900 sex number ads in “Tele-Scorn”.

 

 

Through out the series there is fake ads, satire on the ads that were in these magazines normally romance and hygiene related things. Of course “Young Lust” fucks this in the ass really hard and cums in it’s face.

If the first three issues were to be republished today with this new generation of kids they wouldn’t get what “Young Lust” was making fun of. However, “Young Lust” became its own, twisted sexual mutant on issue four, sure it was still satire but very surrealist in its satires of sexual mores and the culture of relationships. “Young Lust” is an example of why I like underground comics, they aren’t afraid to go into unknown, twisted and strange territory. The first issue came out as the hippie flower boomer thing was starting to wither on the vine and the bloom fell off dead on issue 6 in 1980, however, the seeds of that planet bloomed into a stranger and more mutant plant than its dead parent with issues seven and eight in the early 1990’s, while a lot of zines and underground comics of that 1990’s period tipped their ironic hats to their forebears, they also mercilessly roasted them and sometimes the smelly, ex hippie boomers deserved every flame they got. “Young Lust” could probably survive, surrealist humor about sex and relationships is taken as a given everywhere you look now in every form of media. “Young Lust” will make you cum your pants before you have a chance to stick it in.

So if you want to jerk off instead of getting a real woman go here, all the tissues, uh, I mean issues are up here: https://www.zipcomic.com/young-lust-issue-1

If you want a real woman there is issues, as well as the first three issues in “The Young Lust Reader” for cheap on amazon. Just do a search and you’ll be popping your load in no time!

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Visual White Noise Theater: LOL! Fucking “Skins” (2017)

At first I wasn’t gonna even review this movie, sure it is weird and different but “Skins” falls into the “pretentious horseshit” category for me, the artist so full up his/her ass that they can’t see the sunlight. However, sometimes pretentious horseshit can be entertaining and unintentionally hilarious, to me that was “Skins”.

In some ways I wonder if the director, was trying to play this straight or if this was actually a troll, cinema style. If it was a troll it was the best troll pulled on the Netflix/art house crowd who think their “tolerant” and “sophisticated”. Again this is a Spanish movie and maybe the sub titles were mistranslated but even the action on the screen is utterly ridiculous. When I was meant to feel empathy for a twisted, fuck pedophile who wants to sleep with an eleven year old girl who has no eyes, not blind, no eyes, and gives her pink diamonds for eyes while his wife is giving birth I was fucking disgusted, typical of Netflix who would put out a movie like “Cuties”. The scene and the way it was executed made me snicker, then laugh, a fat old madam who runs a cat house of deformed people telling the peder creep that he can’t help who is and its OK to screw kids and then the scene between the eyeless girl and the old man (they don’t show anything) made me bust a gut.

Then there is the guy who has a fetish for deformed women, his deformed girlfriend is fucking a burn victim behind his back, a girl who has a butt hole where her mouth is supposed to be and a mouth where her butt hole is supposed to be is raped by two gay looking guys rape in both, then there is a pregnant dwarf who plays a pink animorphic teddy bear on a kids show she wants to quit and her creepy manager is trying to talk her into having an abortion, then there is a kid who is the son of the pederast who thinks his legs aren’t part of him because he believes that he is a mermaid and his legs should be fins, its one pretentious cluster fuck of deformed, sad sap people who are all looking for sick, twisted love, normally I would dig something like this but all I could do was laugh. If it was trying to say “Love knows no boundaries”, that flew over my head. The kid with legs lays out in traffic and lets the girl with butt hole for a mouth run over his legs while she is speeding away in her car from the two gay looking dudes who are trying to rape her, the guys chasing her look like they would only want to rape other dudes. Now this might sound interesting, it is kind of, but its more funny than anything. Especially at the end, (I don’t care if I spoil it either I wasted my time watching this) where the guy who has a fetish for deformities keeps butt hole mouth girl from jumping off a bridge after getting raped by the two closet gay guys, the fetish guy kisses her and the dude tongues her hairy butt hole/mouth, I roared with laughter and the kid who wants to be a mermaind in the afterlife becomes a glittery, prancing mermaid with fish falling out of the sky. Now if this wasn’t fun and I didn’t get some enjoyment out of it I wouldn’t have even wasted space on it, in some ways I am wasting space and time on this movie. This is pretentious horseshit but it was funny and made me laugh but I won’t watch “Skins” again. If what I wrote above appeals to you have at it, go on Netflix or if your like me and your one of those “FUCK NETFLIX” guys go to a friend’s and watch it if you don’t want to give these cheerleader pederasts any of your money. Over all, fuck this film and if this isn’t a troll fuck the douchey, art hipster who made this bullshit, you made me laugh at least.

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White Noise Eardrum Buster: Get “Conquer”-ed by Vopo’s (1984)

Mixing metal and punk is a hard balancing act, if you do it wrong you come out sounding generic and/or lame or like your trying too hard. A lot of bands that try it, metal or punk bands end up falling off the high wire and crashing right into the ground with no cushioning, you do it right and its the sound of the Gods. Vopo’s with “Conquer” have done just that, and this isn’t your typical, rehashed “crossover thrash”, no this album came out when punks and metal heads still kind of hated each others guts and going “punk” or “metal” in either camp was “selling out”, some make metal punk unintentionally (like Venom and Motorhead), and some (like Vopo’s and Warfare) do it on purpose and do it right which is rare, its normally the people who try to do it on purpose that screw it the hell up. And boy oh boy check out that cheesy, S and M airbrushed 1980’s cover and metalized words! Makes you slaver, don’t it?

The first track says it all “Hard and Loud” a galloping track that will trample you under iron hooves, a rip snortin’ mean one at that, this one won’t let you come up for breath. The second track “Tonight” is slowed down and groovy, it still rocks like a mother fucker, the bass just throbs sexually and it keeps this groove until it explodes into guitar solo insanity. “In the Book” is a track with discordant guitar chords and a drummer trying to out race a Ferrari, lets not downplay the punk vocals, snotty with a back up chorus, this song is catchy as hell. “Nuclear War” is a strange track you get the punchy and catchy punk/speed metal with a accordion sounding off in the background! Yeah I know it sounds lame at first but it actually gives the song some flavor that would’ve been missing otherwise. “Warrior” starts of with a throat rending scream and riffs cascade and the band goes for broke, this is a song for warriors alright, it takes no god damn prisoners. “Conquer” the album title track could be a hardcore punk song if it didn’t have the technical solo in the middle, its got the obligatory “shout back” back up vocals, a ripper of a tune. “Get Me” starts deceptively with a piano jag and as the piano picks up speed the guitar, bass and drums kicks into high gear and go at 120 MPH with no regard for safety, defiance “GET ME! COME AND GET ME! YOU WON’T LAST!” Every last police car giving chase ends up in the ditch and/or off a cliff. “Speedbanging Babies” starts with stuttering guitar and then snarls into metal punk defiance and doesn’t let up, “Just bang your head like speedbanging baby, bang your head til you die”. This song sprays lead in all directions, massive destruction ensues. “007” so are you in for some surf metal guitar James Bond style? Than this is your tune! Reverbed guitar chords ripple like an angry ocean after Tsunami and crash on the rocks with ripping rhythm and solos, these guys dig on Bond. This song is a license to kill, I love when bands mix genres. And the last song “Short Joy” makes me want to cry because its the last song on the whole album and they go out with a bang, with nonsensical lyrics and melodic speed metal/punk “Where is the cat? HE IS IN YOUR HAT! The cat is no more there is blood all over!” Now I am not blowing a bunch of smoke up your ass, from beginning to end this album fucking slays, not one of the songs is bad, I’ve listened to this thing up to ten times a day and haven’t got sick of it, everyone of these songs will get stuck in your head, like gum at the bottom of your shoe that won’t come off and this is good shit to get stuck in your head.

“Vopo’s Conquer” was an album I stumbled across looking for old school metal punk bands, after stumbling across a bunch of generic “crossover thrash” I came across this band and was blown away. This was what I was looking for, a perfect balance between the two genres that didn’t come off sounding as if they tried too hard. So I went looking for the vinyl and found cheap copy on discogs.

Tried to do more research on this band and info is very skimpy on this band, on discogs the whole band has the same last name “Vopo” which explains the name of the band, that is if “Vopo” doesn’t mean something in a different language and they all took on a fake last name to mirror that and apparently their still active and released their next album after “Conquer” in 2005 around 20 years after! These guys used to have a web site where they sold their albums on CD but it is non existent. The cheapest vinyl copy is 25 bucks on discogs and you’ll have to pay astronomical shipping because most of the sellers are from out of Europe.

 However if you want to get “Conquer”-ed right away go here: https://www.bitchute.com/video/TWNvBmk0BHH9/

If you want the whole platter here is where you should try your luck: https://www.discogs.com/Vopos-Conquer/release/2336041

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Visual White Noise Theater: How about “Fried Barry” (2020) for dessert?!

That would be one weird tasting dessert, one you wouldn’t forget, I wouldn’t call it “sweet” or “bland” or “bitter” or “gross” its just all of that mixed together. Coming out of the post apocalyptic husk that is South Africa and directed by Ryan Kruger, the movie features Barry (played by future character actor Gary Green) a heroin addict who has a son and pissed off wife, he has no job to support his family and just wanders around looking for drugs until a UFO abducts him and takes over his body.

An alien takes over his body and he is put smack dab in the middle of Johannesburg, that is when things go completely bat shit insane and doesn’t let up. The alien in Barry does drugs, his neck stretches, he knocks up a prostitute who gives birth seconds later, he gets sucked off by some creep in a public bathroom and sprays him with black jizz, he gets kidnapped by a pedophile and gets in a chainsaw fight with the guy, he gets put in an insane asylum, escapes into a beckoning businessman’s car who shoots him up and feeds him pills and they drive through an atom explosion, a grown man sucks milk out of a woman’s nipple etc. I could go on and on.

“Fried Barry” is like if the 1979 Peter Seller’s movie “Being There” had done tons of hard drugs. The alien in Barry just seems to be stumbling around and gathering whatever earth like experiences it can but on the way Barry inadvertently helps people kind of like Dougie Cooper in “Twin Peaks the Return”, the movie does stumble near the end and it picks up again. Depending on your movie tastes you won’t like a nonsensical movie where the character travels from one vignette to another, this isn’t a hapless film by no means, there is a story tying all of this together but I don’t want to give away the whole story.

The director took his short film and stretched “Fried Barry” into a feature length film. From what I’ve heard the actor playing Barry, whose name is Gary Green, was a stuntman, he is very unusual looking which fits the part perfectly of a man who is taken over by an alien force. Not much is told about the aliens, when he is in the ship he sees a lot of weird ass shit, and your left wondering if the alien itself is a drug addict getting high off of the experiences through Barry, an intergalactic tweaker stuck in the body of an earthbound heroin addict.

To get “Fried” with “Barry” go here: https://www.amazon.com/Fried-Barry-Gary-Green/dp/B0948Q98JK

Or you can be a cheap bastard and not support cool art by finding the pirates by the bay. If you choose this option don’t be surprised if those same pirates make you walk the plank.

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Visual White Noise Theater: “Monster Heaven, Ghost Hero” says it all!!!

Don’t build a skyscraper that manufactures hologram equipment on a Samurai graveyard, take it from “Monster Heaven, Ghost Hero”.

Wow, surprise, another weird Japanese movie, nothing new there but of course the weirdness varies, sometimes its cultural misunderstandings or the dialogue isn’t translated properly for English speaking audiences. A Samurai graveyard is bulldozed and in its place is put a shiny skyscraper where they are trying to prefect making holograms you can feel. This pisses off the spirits of the dead. The company puts one of the weird grave markers from the bulldozed graveyard in their lobby under a glass case, because in a horror movie that isn’t asking for trouble.

An old man in a electric wheelchair shows up in the lobby looks at the grave stone and starts yelling about a curse, the receptionists scream and….We’re off and running. The crazy old man warning the youngin’s that if they go somewhere or do a certain something they’ll die, now the Japanese are using an American horror movie trope. Cut to a scene where a Japanese pop rock band is yelling into the camera as Satoshi, son of the guy who owns the big building has fallen asleep at his table and has a nightmare about having his throat cut. Satoshi doesn’t want the responsibility of running the company, so his father’s friend and co chair is running the company, Satoshi is overseeing the hologram program. His father’s friend is trying to talk him into taking over the company.

Then some douche in a white suit shows up and he is always using an electric shaver even though his face is smooth and clean shaven, he has two butch white women in suits that are his bodyguards, apparently he had worked for the company before and stole secrets, now he is back wanting his top level job back because he ripped off his other employer, at first Satoshi’s father’s friend will have nothing to do with the douche in the white suit but white suit is very pushy and consistent and seeks to take over the company from Satoshi. The pop rock band shows up and warns Satoshi and his lab aides that there is a curse over the building because it was built over a graveyard they say if the blood of a virgin touches the gravestone in the lobby underneath the glass case all hell will break loose.

And break loose it does, all over the place, the band morphs into Yokai spirits, the white suit guy tries to rape the secretary and throws her over the balcony, the white suit guy grabs the cursed katana and turns into a demonic Samurai that starts demolishing everything in its path, lightning flashes, virgin holograms clash (yep I didn’t mistype), hallways turn into forests etc. This thing breaks open, and maybe again this is a cultural difference but this movie “Monster Heaven, Ghost Hero” can’t make up its mind if its a kid’s movie or a weird movie for adults. Its trying to be everything to everybody, and for me it succeeds. This movie is “My Ghost Hero”.

So go here to get to “Monster Heaven” with sub titles: https://www.bitchute.com/video/CUozZoHL5ASo/

One more for the road, gif thieves!

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White Noise on Paper: Get down in the “Cinema Sewer” and get filthy dirty.

Robin Bougie started “Cinema Sewer” around 1997 in Victoria BC, Canada when he was reading different zines about B and cult movies, zines like Joe Bob Briggs’ zine “Joe Bob Report” and Fred Adelman’s “Critical Condition” and wondering why comics hadn’t been combined with the zine format (their were a lot of cult movie zines out there, the cult and B movie zines for the most part hadn’t incorporated comics into their framework). He came up with the name after writing a column in his buddy’s zine “Poopsheet”, he couldn’t figure out a name for his column so his wife Rebecca came up with “Cinema Sewer” and he thought that described what he wanted to get across. Robin has put this zine out and hasn’t stopped since, and I got to give him props, the guy carries the zine torch. While finding the original and first issues are near impossible, your in luck because Fab Press has put out all of the issues in a series of seven books, with added and/or updated material by the Bougster himself.

While the Bougster does dive into cult films and B movies of yesteryear, his main focus is 1970’s to 1980’s soft core and hardcore porn, see for me I use porn for only one thing and one thing only, as do many people. I don’t want to read treatises and long winded philosophical pieces on something I nut to and put aside. I’ve even tried watching the classic porn, and I’ve had to watch them in pieces because once I come to a certain scene, SPLURT, I am done and its served its use. The Bougster actually goes into depth on these movies and their stories, he interviews actors, actresses, directors, producers etc. involved in that scene. While some of it was interesting I was tempted to turn to the pieces where he or a guest reviewer actually goes in depth about the shitty B movies I love. I’ve only found one porn director, Stephen Sayadian aka “Rinse Dream” who has made interesting, weird and twisted porn like the post apocalyptic “Cafe Flesh”, the surreal “Night Dreams” and the soft core, weird sequel to “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” named “Dr. Caligari” which is his best work.

RANT START, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE BORED SKIP THIS SECTION TO “RANT OVER”: Too many times the Bougster gets up on a soapbox about porn, the guy is a bug eyed fanatic about it, almost the way I was when I was a younger and hornier guy, he claims on his soapbox that it does no damage whatsoever to society, the people involved in making it etc. Hell, the dude even did a porn mocking religion, but here is the deal, I am no prude, I am not one of these idiots who goes around yelling about how porn destroys everybody and everything, however, he is so biased that he can’t see past his own nose. People in the porn industry seem to die of drug overdose, suicide, violent accident and death in higher proportions than other professions, he’d say “well look at any other commercial business, that all happens in other places” problem is it happens in larger percentages in that industry. In his zine he tries to paint the porn industry as victimless and if a girl or guy goes on to change their life and point out the problems in the industry he gets downright brutal and mean, he tells others to be “non judgmental” while judging those critical of what it seems he is addicted to. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t think porn should be illegal and the Bougster is right, most of these people make the choice to be in this line of business but its also equally as ignorant to ignore all the damaged people that go in and come out of the industry, whether that be through retirement or a body bag. He points out studies that prove porn industry people have a high self esteem but this study was put out by a former porn star, Sharon Mitchell, kind of like the fox guarding the hen house? Sorry about this tangent but it had to get out there. Sure we should have honest discussions about sex and porn but being honest also means looking at the negative and bad of things to which the Bougster seems to not be able to do at all in his zine, he isn’t objective when it comes to the subject. He also does the false equivalency argument that prostitutes and porn stars make when attacked for their profession “Well its no different if your going into work to a job you hate and a boss you hate, your prostituting yourself, no different from what I do”, and its weak, the difference between a Big Box store stocker and a porn star/prostitute is the Big Box store stocker isn’t getting physically fucked in every orifice and having mental qualms and other psychological damage from it, you could argue that the stocker is getting fucked in different ways but that stocker is less likely to kill his/herself, shoot up smack, get beaten up etc. all of which the Bougster would deny but is a fact. I am a bit of a hypocrite I just got on a soap box now push me off. RANT OVER.

But all that is a small quibble, I love the fuck out of “Cinema Sewer” you not only get the Bougster’s musings and scribblings you also get guest artists and reviews. While Bougster mainly covers the retro soft/hardcore porn, he also does a bang up job of covering more of what I am interested in, weird TV shows, twisted B movies and WTF?! Cult Films. He also has a huge collection of one sheets and ad bills for some of these rare grindhouse films which he reprints in “Cinema Sewer”. These books are a treasure trove of info and he turned me on to movies that I have never heard before and dammit, I am glad somebody is actually printing an actual zine you can hold in your hands, its a lost art. I wish the Bougster had continued with the feature of “Comics I’d Like to See Turned into Movies”, I am not sure if has the rights to reprint some comic strips like “Ramba” but damn does it add to the visual flare of the material. While you might agree or disagree with the Bougster’s positions, you need to get down and dirty with “Cinema Sewer”. So open that manhole of your mind and plug your nose its gonna get nastEEEEEEEE!!!!!

To get nasty go here, the Bougster has got a lot of cool stuff up there, the books, his zine and his dirty cartoon zine check em’ out and support him!: https://cinemasewer.storenvy.com/products